Jude Law's Going Bald

Oh, the poor bitch. I am, too. I've got this receding hairline/power alleys thing going on. How can my hair be crazy thick in some places and non-existent in others? SCREW YOU, BIOLOGY! Jude Law was out and about the other day in Britain showing off what's left of his pelt.

Law is reportedly frantic over his follicle disappearance and his ex-wife Sadie Frost has him seeking out acupuncturists, Chinese mystics, and homeopathic treatments. That's some ex-wife. Jude's currently working on Reposession Mambo. It's a sci-fi thriller about a guy with several transplanted organs who goes on the run when he can't afford his heart transplant. Does it also involve hair plugs?

It's actually not that bad. He just shouldn't shave his head again anytime soon.

Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com http://socialitelife.celebuzz.com

Britney Spears Down At The Studio

Britney Spears has been visiting the recording studio again. Sources say that she's been working with voice coach Ron Anderson, and working on strengthening her voice at a Burbank recording studio. She's reportedly not working on anything specific.

"She's doing it just for fun," says a source. "She's just sitting at the piano, singing a little. She's just in there to have some fun. It may lead to something down the road, but right now this is just part of her staying on the right track."

I'm all for it. I'm slightly loathe to admit this, but I was into Blackout. I wasn't into the pictures of her trying to f*ck a priest in the album booklet, though. It's not that I have something against sleeping with priests (unless you're an altar boy and Father McEachren is trying to shove his hand under your robe), I was just against Britney's appearance in the photo. Tubby slut in church!

Britney's Blackout record placed at #2 on the Billboard Top 200, but never made the top spot. Wait, does this mean she's going to tour? My birthday's in June, one of you better be calling Ticketmaster!

More photos of Britney Spears leaving a recording studio

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Sam Lutfi Remembers When Britney Spears And Her Matted Weave Used To Buy Him Any Lighter He Wanted

Wow, weave #34. That was some genuine horsehair. Here's a snap of Sam Lutfi back in the good ole' days when he was drugging Britney Spears and using her money to buy any sort of item at the gas station he wanted. It was all Slim Jims, Blow-Pops, Durex condoms, Seventeen magazine and those fake roses that when you open them are actually panties. No, they seriously make those. I've seen them. Panty roses! Sam Lutfi says he's "cooperating" with Britney's family's efforts to keep his ass away from her.

Lawyers for Lutfi and Brit's family met in court, as the judge extended the restraining order against him until July 31. He has been ordered by the courts to stay away from her since February.

"Sam and the family are communicating and cooperating trying to do what's best for Britney," Lutfi's spokesman, Michael Sands, said.

Britney's Mom Lynne Spears has accused Sam of giving her daughter Risperdal, a sleeping medication, and Seroquel, an anti-psychotic drug. Lutfi has admitted that he did give Britney a handful of sleeping pills, but says that she was down with it.

Sam's probably been eating Ramen and not being able to afford male escorts since February and he's looking forward to July when he can try and get his meal ticket back.

More photos of Britney Spears leaving Bally's

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Photos: WENN http://socialitelife.celebuzz.com

Katie Holmes Might Be Ending This Business Arrangement Early

Photos: WENN http://socialitelife.celebuzz.com

Oh oh. Has it finally come to pass? Is Katie Holmes ready to flee the confines of her galactic prison? That's what word on the street is. Sources say that Katie Holmes is fed up with Tom Cruise's controlling ways and is ready to take Suri and bolt. Queens are bossy.

Katie's trying to use that offer she got to star on Broadway as a means to move to Manhattan, and go for a trial separation. Strap on those running shoes and bolt, girl! Take that baby and don't even look back. Hop a Greyhound if you have to.

"She desperately needs to be on her own for a while, but there's no way Tom is going to let her take Suri away," a source says. "There's no way he'll allow it. He just doesn't want Katie -- or Suri -- out of his sight for long. He told her that if she goes to New York, fine, but he goes with her."

If you desperately want to be "alone for awhile", you're not in a marriage - you're in a work camp. Alone time is fine, but this chick wants to move across the country away from his gay ass. The source says that Tom "wants to call all the shots when it comes to Suri" and it causes conflict. Well, yeah. Katie just wants to raise her like a normal little girl, and Tom wants Suri to tell him about the alien war that's coming and raise her up as L. Ron Hubbard's chosen one.

Michelle Rodriguez Got Her License Back Pretty Quick

Doesn't jaibird Michelle Rodriguez have more than a few drunk driving charges under her belt? I thought they took your license away when you had multiple DUIs? This bitch probably has a wet bar in her convertible. Anyway, Michelle's annoyed that everyone's really into whether or not she dines out at the Y. She spoke to Latina.com and got a little heated.

I picture them [journalists and bloggers] turning into pigs, slime coming out the side of their mouth, and I picture them jerking off," she says. "I don't answer those questions. I just keep it to myself and it's nobody's business. If I wanna f*ck a girl, a boy, a dog--that's my business. That's why there's bathroom doors."

What? What the-? Dogs? In the bathroom? I'm through wondering if she's a lesbian or not. But I am going to be monitoring the local kennels and suggesting that the cops remove her bathroom door. Jesus.

Photos: SplashNewsOnline.com http://socialitelife.com

Cameron Diaz Lost Her Dad

Alright, I'm declaring a moratorium on busting on Cameron Diaz for awhile. Her Dad passed away.

Emilio Diaz, 58, passed away due to flu-related pneumonia on Monday. He was a second generation Cuban-American who for an oil company. Shooting on Cameron's latest movie, My Sister's Keeper, was shut down when Cameron received news of his death.

"My mom, sister and I are deeply appreciative of the overwhelming outpouring of love and support during this difficult time for us and all of our family," she said in a statement.

"My dad was loved by so many people and his humor and spirit will always live on in our hearts," she added.

Photos: SplashNewsOnline.com http://socialitelife.celebuzz.com

Ashlee Simpson Milking This Baby Thing For All It's Worth

If you can't sell a record, sell a baby. Or the rumor of one. Here's Ashlee Simpson in NYC, enjoying every minute of the is she/isn't she pregnancy question. Hence the cloak of secrecy. The newly engaged to Pete Wentz singer made an appearance on MTV's TRL and decided to act all insulted when the question of her possible pregnancy came up. She deemed it "inappropriate."

Pete and Ashlee made this video back in February. In it they joke about pregnancy, and Ashlee is shot with a fake baby belly. Foreshadowing! In other awesome news, Ashlee's sister Jessica is reportedly bullshit that Ashlee might be shooting out a kid first.

"Jessica never imagined that her tom-boy younger sister would have a baby first," a source explains. "It would be very hard for her not to be jealous."

Damn right. Jessica hates being overshadowed. She's going to start trolling the playgrounds looking for a baby to steal because you know Tony Romo is not going to give her that sort of gift. He's a dumb jock, but he's not that dumb to buy into that family via his semen.

8 more photos of Ashlee Simpson in NYC

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Gwyneth Paltrow Was Depressed

Who isn't? It's national status quo. Oh wait, she's British. Kind of. Here's Gwyneth Paltrow at the birthday party for her son Moses Bruce at Centrico restaurant in NYC. Doesn't anyone go to Chuck E. Cheese anymore? Throw that child into the ball pit and let him live a little.

Gwyneth's interviewed in this May's Vogue and she reveals that she suffered from postpartum depression after Moses was born. Maybe it was that name she chose. Because that's sad.

"You know, I had postnatal depression after [my second child] Moses," she says. "I didn't know I had it until after it was over. I just didn't know what was wrong with me...I felt really out of my body. I felt really disconnected. I felt really down; I felt pessimistic."

Gwyneth thinks that she was depressed because she had to cut down on her usual treatments, like acupuncture. It also might have been because she works out with Madonna on a regular basis and Madonna only allows them to eat raw seaweed and human souls. That would depress anyone.

More photos from Moses Martin's birthday party

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