Sam Lutfi Remembers When Britney Spears And Her Matted Weave Used To Buy Him Any Lighter He Wanted

Wow, weave #34. That was some genuine horsehair. Here's a snap of Sam Lutfi back in the good ole' days when he was drugging Britney Spears and using her money to buy any sort of item at the gas station he wanted. It was all Slim Jims, Blow-Pops, Durex condoms, Seventeen magazine and those fake roses that when you open them are actually panties. No, they seriously make those. I've seen them. Panty roses! Sam Lutfi says he's "cooperating" with Britney's family's efforts to keep his ass away from her.

Lawyers for Lutfi and Brit's family met in court, as the judge extended the restraining order against him until July 31. He has been ordered by the courts to stay away from her since February.

"Sam and the family are communicating and cooperating trying to do what's best for Britney," Lutfi's spokesman, Michael Sands, said.

Britney's Mom Lynne Spears has accused Sam of giving her daughter Risperdal, a sleeping medication, and Seroquel, an anti-psychotic drug. Lutfi has admitted that he did give Britney a handful of sleeping pills, but says that she was down with it.

Sam's probably been eating Ramen and not being able to afford male escorts since February and he's looking forward to July when he can try and get his meal ticket back.

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Katie Holmes Might Be Ending This Business Arrangement Early

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Oh oh. Has it finally come to pass? Is Katie Holmes ready to flee the confines of her galactic prison? That's what word on the street is. Sources say that Katie Holmes is fed up with Tom Cruise's controlling ways and is ready to take Suri and bolt. Queens are bossy.

Katie's trying to use that offer she got to star on Broadway as a means to move to Manhattan, and go for a trial separation. Strap on those running shoes and bolt, girl! Take that baby and don't even look back. Hop a Greyhound if you have to.

"She desperately needs to be on her own for a while, but there's no way Tom is going to let her take Suri away," a source says. "There's no way he'll allow it. He just doesn't want Katie -- or Suri -- out of his sight for long. He told her that if she goes to New York, fine, but he goes with her."

If you desperately want to be "alone for awhile", you're not in a marriage - you're in a work camp. Alone time is fine, but this chick wants to move across the country away from his gay ass. The source says that Tom "wants to call all the shots when it comes to Suri" and it causes conflict. Well, yeah. Katie just wants to raise her like a normal little girl, and Tom wants Suri to tell him about the alien war that's coming and raise her up as L. Ron Hubbard's chosen one.

Ashlee Simpson Milking This Baby Thing For All It's Worth

If you can't sell a record, sell a baby. Or the rumor of one. Here's Ashlee Simpson in NYC, enjoying every minute of the is she/isn't she pregnancy question. Hence the cloak of secrecy. The newly engaged to Pete Wentz singer made an appearance on MTV's TRL and decided to act all insulted when the question of her possible pregnancy came up. She deemed it "inappropriate."

Pete and Ashlee made this video back in February. In it they joke about pregnancy, and Ashlee is shot with a fake baby belly. Foreshadowing! In other awesome news, Ashlee's sister Jessica is reportedly bullshit that Ashlee might be shooting out a kid first.

"Jessica never imagined that her tom-boy younger sister would have a baby first," a source explains. "It would be very hard for her not to be jealous."

Damn right. Jessica hates being overshadowed. She's going to start trolling the playgrounds looking for a baby to steal because you know Tony Romo is not going to give her that sort of gift. He's a dumb jock, but he's not that dumb to buy into that family via his semen.

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Britney Spears Did Us All A Favor And Recorded Her Crazy

This should be glitzy. Britney Spears reportedly made daily video diaries during all those tumultuous times when she was attacking paparazzi, losing her babies, entering and exiting rehab, and before and after her psych ward trips. Thank you, Jaysus! She's allegedly planning on releasing them on the Internet, or even as the crux of a new reality show on MTV. Gather the family and make some popcorn!

The videos are said to portray Britney ranting about her life in captivity, and talking about her relationship with Justin Timberlake and her rivalry with Christina Aguilera. Wait. How old are these damn videos? Wasn't that 2002? Is she still talking about that stuff? That was ages ago. Check the expiration date, Britney!

These video diaries are said to be the talk of the "Tinseltown elite." Right. And Justin and K-Fed are allegedly nervous about what she's going to say. For real? That's like Hillary Clinton being nervous about the homeless woman in the subway station telling everyone she's a lesbian from space. Consider the source.

"Her high-profile friends and exes - including Justin - knew what she was up to but assumed she was filming herself as a form of therapy. If she does decide to go public with the footage, it'll be explosive," says a source.

If this story is true, I am totally clearing my DVR for this shit. I might even have a viewing party. I'm going to serve Red Bull & voddy martinis, Slim Jims, nachos with chili and bowls full of pills. Check your baby at the door!

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Mariah Carey Letting Nick Cannon Pry His Way Into That Dress

Mariah Carey might be letting Nick Cannon into the unicorn palace in her butterfly kingdom. The two hung out at Prive nightclub in Vegas the other night and have been spotted hanging out a lot together lately.

Nick was deejaying and Mariah shook her vacuum-packed ass to the music and ate chicken and burgers. That dress is going to snap off her and kill a bitch if she keeps eating that and wearing those too-small dresses.

Her best friend Da Brat accompanied Mariah, and they celebrated Brat's birthday. Nick gave Mariah a shout-out during his set. When he played Jay-Z's "Public Service Announcement", he sang along with the "I got the hottest chick in the game" lyric and motioned towards the Lamb Queen. Mariah reportedly raised her wineglass in his direction.

I don't know about this couple. Any man trying to add to her charm bracelet needs to be prepped for high maintenance and that level of maintenance might be over his service level.

Photos: WENN

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UPDATED: Ashlee Simpson Pregnant With Guyliner-Wearing Baby

UPDATE: So, the official denial of Ashlee Simpson's pregnancy has come from her fiance, Pete Wentz, who gave a statement to MTV News in an email. According to him, "There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood."

He continued by saying, "This is all news to me. I can't wait for the story about how I'm really in a gay relationship and this is all just a cover." Wait, no more, Pete! That one's already old news by now.

When definitively asked if he was denying that she was pregnant, he responded by saying, "Yeah."

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We called it! Ok, everybody called it. Ashlee Simpson is knocked up with Pete Wentz's baby. Hey, at least it isn't her Dad's.

Ashlee's people aren't commenting about the possible pregnancy, but US magazine is swearing that it's a definite.

"We are thrilled to confirm their engagement and congratulate this happy couple," a spokesperson said. "Beyond that there is nothing to say." Uh huh.

Ashlee, 23, and Pete, 28, announced their engagement last week. In lieu of gifts, the couple is asking wedding attendees to make donations to Clairol, Manic Panic, and their local patchouli distributors.

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