Michelle Rodriguez Got Her License Back Pretty Quick

Doesn't jaibird Michelle Rodriguez have more than a few drunk driving charges under her belt? I thought they took your license away when you had multiple DUIs? This bitch probably has a wet bar in her convertible. Anyway, Michelle's annoyed that everyone's really into whether or not she dines out at the Y. She spoke to Latina.com and got a little heated.

I picture them [journalists and bloggers] turning into pigs, slime coming out the side of their mouth, and I picture them jerking off," she says. "I don't answer those questions. I just keep it to myself and it's nobody's business. If I wanna f*ck a girl, a boy, a dog--that's my business. That's why there's bathroom doors."

What? What the-? Dogs? In the bathroom? I'm through wondering if she's a lesbian or not. But I am going to be monitoring the local kennels and suggesting that the cops remove her bathroom door. Jesus.

Photos: SplashNewsOnline.com http://socialitelife.com

Luke MacFarlane Comes Ou....Who?

Is this a big deal? I'm still waiting on Anderson Cooper, Tom Cruise, Wentworth Miller, Johnny Trav, Jeremy Piven, Jodie Foster, Queen Latifah, Missy Elliot, and Ellen Page to 'fess up. Who's this bitch? I kid, I kid. it's wonderful. Luke MacFarlane of ABC's Brothers & Sisters has come out.

Luke plays the character of "Scotty" on the drama. Scotty is the boyfriend of Matthew Rhys' gay character "Kevin Walker." The show plans to have them commit to each other in a civil union in an upcoming episode. MacFarlane felt that this was a good time to bust out.

"I don't know what will happen professionally," MacFarlane said. "That is the fear, but I guess I can't really be concerned about what will happen, because it's my truth. ... There is this desire in L.A. to wonder who you are and what's been blaring for me for the last three years is how can I be most authentic to myself - so this is the first time I am speaking about it in this way."

Dude, it's 2008. If the planet doesn't realize that 3/4 of the working actors in Hollywood are as gay as West Side Story, then there's a problem.

Apparently he's banging T.R. Knight. T.R. gets props for that awesome t-shirt. If you need a tour, T, you look me up. I know several public restrooms and various gay-oriented dive bars.

Photos: BauerGriffinOnline.com http://socialitelife.com

Tom Cruise And David Beckham Have Ambitious Rectums

You know where that bottle's going. It looks like the aftermath of a gay civil union! This picture seriously makes me want to hold some sort of caption contest. Play at home! Tom Cruise and David Beckham are reportedly considering purchasing a soccer team together.

"Purchasing a soccer team together" is the new "predatory queen convinced dumb jock to give in to his advances." Sources say that David wants to make the transition from team player to team owner. The two realize that they could attract all the top players to their boy harem...I mean, soccer team.

I don't mean to work blue here, but Tom's had bigger things up him. That gurl can ride the biggest and the best. Olivia Newton John's missing husband is probably up him, along with Paris and Britney's missing dogs, the wallet that the hooker stole from me in Vegas, and the lost continent of Atlantis.