Heidi Montag Flips When Spencer Flirts

Heidi "I'm Voting For John McCain" Montag got in quite a tizzy on last night's episode of The Hills. She and her "girls" (you can tell they're her friends by the stab wound scars in their backs) were enjoying a friendly "girls night out" at Hollywood's S Bar when she spotted her exish-boyfriend flirting with a group of girls up at the bar. She held it together at the club, but this is how she felt inside.

"They're taking shots?" she asked co-star/pretend friend Audrina Patridge three times in a row, clearly confusing the brunette who looked as perplexed as if Heidi were asking her what the capital of Nebraska was or how to use a hammer. The girl can barely chew her gum and sit still at the same time through the use of deep and focused concentration, much less try and maintain a conversation. By the way, Audrina would like you to know she's voting for Tickle Me Elmo for president.

Also, did you know Heidi raps?

Photos: BauerGriffinOnline.com http://socialitelife.celebuzz.com

Paris Hilton Apologizes To Kim Kardashian's Butt

Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com

Paris Hilton is picking fights with everyone these days. First, she's duking it out with Jessica Simpson over fake hair. Then she's bugging out over having to share the Good Charlotte spotlight with Mischa Barton. Now, the most recent victim of her bile is Kim Kardashian.

In an interview with a Vegas radio station on Monday, Paris talked smack about Kim's ass. She said, "I would not want [Kim's butt] -- it's gross! It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag." Hell yeah! This is the old Paris we all love to hate! Talking shit openly and starting feuds left and right.

Sadly, however, she has offered a shallow apology to Kim via In Touch Weekly, explaining herself in an email, "I was just joking around and I made a stupid joke. I felt really bad afterward, so I contacted Kim and apologized. It was a silly thing to say. Kim's hot!"

Dammit. I was hoping for some blood. But as it turns out, Kim is saying that they're cool. According to the bootylicious Kardashian, "Paris and I have been friends since we were kids and I'm glad she made the effort to say she's sorry." Bullshit. These two hate each other and I personally think it's selfish for them to keep all that feuding to themselves. That's just hateful.

Also, here are some pictures of Paris Hilton getting paid to attend a party. Ha! I thought British people were supposed to be more sophisticated than us. We get to have that drunken waste of space drive around and possibly run us over for free!

Photos: WENN

15 more photos of Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are after the jump.

(Hint - Right-click on the image thumbnails with your mouse to open them in a new tab or window.)

Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com

Photos: WENN http://socialitelife.celebuzz.com

Mischa Barton's On Paris Hilton's Shit List

Paris Hilton has declared war against Mischa Barton! Move over, Jessica Simpson. I love when the skinny and spoiled get to feuding! The cause of their spat is a man, of course.

Paris is accompanying Benji Madden on his band's UK tour and is annoyed that she'll be stuck seeing Mischa along each step of the way. Mischa is currently dating guitarist Taylor Locke of Los Angeles based band Rooney, who is touring with Good Charlotte.

I'm so torn. I have no idea who I should be rooting for. It's not that I particularly care for either of them, but I'm having a hard time figuring out whom I dislike the least. But now that I've had a moment to give it some thought, my money's on Mischa--she seems pretty strung-out and full of desperation at the moment, so I have a sneaking suspicion we'll find her standing over Paris' lifeless body, a bloody Ked gripped tightly in her fist.

Photos: BauerGriffinOnline.com

Michael Lohan Wants To Keep Divorcing Dina Lohan

Michael Lohan is telling anyone who will listen that he is planning on reopening his divorce case with his ex-wife. He feels that he was shortchanged the first time around by Dina, telling the New York Daily News, "I gave her the family house, all the furniture and the $200,000 she owed me just so that I could see my kids and have a relationship with them."

Now, he's crying foul, saying that Dina has done little to encourage a relationship between his children and their grandparents, his parents. He's also saying that she stole the idea for her E! reality show from him. "It's the exact same show I pitched," he stated. "She even used my title."

I feel like Michael is less a father and more like an embedded reporter in the Family Lohan camp. This family gives press releases like most people fart. And they're never the silent, but deadly kind--always loud and juicy.