Kim Kardashian Thanks Fans for Birthday Wishes

It cannot be denied: in the virtual world, Kim Kardashian is incredibly popular.
So, on the occasion of her 32nd birthday, the talent-free reality star has taken to her blog and sent out a message to her millions of online followers.

"I just want to say thank you so much for all the sweet birthday messages you guys have been leaving today on my blog, Twitter and Facebook!!" Kardashian writes. "I am so blessed to have friends, family and fans who support me every day. I’m feeling very loved. Thank you all!! Xo."
And how did Kim spend the special occasion?
By being whisked away to Italy by Kanye West in a totally unplanned event that definitely did not include an alert to the paparazzi overseas.
They just happened to be present when Kanye presented his girlfriend with a rose on the streets of Venice. What a coincidence!
"Italy is so beautiful! Best Birthday ever!!!" Kim Tweeted soon afterward, making her countless "friends" feel as if they were actually a part in this concocted scenario.
Seriously, wise up, people.

Ashlee Simpson's Baby Pictures Fetch Bargain Basement Prices

Ashlee Simpson looked the part of the glowing expectant celebrity mom after leaving Virgil's BBQ in Midtown Manhattan after a double-date between her, fiance Pete Wentz and new parents Nicole Richie and Joel Madden. I don't understand this couple's fascination with greasy bangs, but maybe that's why their relationship works. They were in NYC for Ashlee's recent appearance on TRL.

I can only imagine what the two couples discussed over their meals. The guys probably chatted about their preferred shade of black hair dye, whilst the gals waxed poetic about how awesome pregnancy boobs look.

Ashlee and Pete have given up their attempts to weakly deny pregnancy rumors and Joe Simpson is working overtime trying to sell exclusive baby pictures for top dollar, and he seems to be overestimating his selling price. Papa Joe is hoping to fetch one million big ones, while sources reveal to Page Six that $60,000 might be a more reasonable figure.

According to a magazine editor that chatted with Page Six, this pregnancy seems less like a coincidence and more like a promotional stunt. "The timing is a little suspicious. Her album ['Bittersweet World'] is dropping next week, and there was little to no interest until now. Ashlee's lucky she got pregnant, frankly." Those Simpson girls really have made quite comfortable careers for themselves out of being in relationships.

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Photos: SplashNewsOnline.com http://socialitelife.celebuzz.com

Ashlee Simpson: Uterus Watch 2008

There's a lot of confusion going on, mostly in my own head, as to whether or not recently engaged Ashlee Simpson is pregnant. OK! Magazine and Us Weekly are claiming that they have received confirmation from an unnamed source that Ashlee is preggo with Pete Wentz's baby, however Pete recently made a very vague denial to MTV News.

According to OK!, Ashlee is due to pop out the emo baby some time in October. They are claiming that Simpson was spotted at Malibu's Chart House restaurant, suffering from a "fierce bout of what appeared to be morning sickness."

Hmm, isn't her album about to drop? I guess if I were faced with competing with Mariah Carey, I'd shoot myself out of a cannon into a pool of elephants to try and get some media attention, so a fake pregnancy doesn't seem all that far-fetched to me.

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Photos: BauerGriffinOnline.com http://socialitelife.celebuzz.com

Call Jennifer Lopez Mellow Yellow

Wow. Jennifer Lopez looks amazing. Here she is with hubby Marc Anthony as the two of hem leave out the back door of the Waverly Inn restaurant. I can't believe this woman has had twins. Her knees even look like they're in shape and from the looks of the guy behind her, I'm guessing her booty's regaining its impressive pre-baby shape. Seriously, that dude is about to lose his mind and/or require a quick trip to the bathroom momentarily.

Meanwhile, why is Marc Anthony dressing like an evil ivory trader from a Disney movie? Hmm, maybe he's still sulking from agreeing to one day hand his babies over to aliens. I can understand his frustration--they're meant to be raised by their own kind, vampires. Vampires and aliens simply do not mix.

Photos: WENN

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Cate Blanchett's Australian, Has Third Baby

Cate Blanchett gave birth to her third son in Sydney, Australia yesterday. Why did I think she was a Brit? I just checked Wikipedia. She's totally Aussie. Her Dad was a Texan, but her Mom was Australian. She was born and raised there. What the-?

Ignatius Martin Upton joins the flawless Blanchett's other sons with playwright Andrew Martin, Dashiell John, six, and Roman Robert, three. He's totally going to be called "Iggy." Trust me on this.

"The baby was born yesterday. Both are doing well," a spokesman said. Iggy came in under eight pounds, according to sources.

Cate and her husband run the Sydney Theatre Company. She's also in the new Indiana Jones movie, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, this summer as a Russian femme fatale.

Australia? I would have bet my remaining kidney on her being British. What the hell do I know? I didn't know the sub in the old D'Angelo's sign was supposed to be an "L." Seriously, I thought they were called "D'angeo's" for years. Yeah, Happy Monday, I'm kind of a bimbo.

Photos: WENN socialitelife.com